As a young mother of two, I often faced challenges in dealing with my children’s’ behavior. Like most young mothers I coaxed them, coached them, bribed them and if all else failed I spanked them. Like most mothers do, at the end of it felt tremendously guilty and sometimes even cried. I was growing up as a parent, falling every once in a while and then learning. Most parents would agree that just as a child is growing, we as parents also need to grow. This space is dedicated to all young parents.
Discipline is about teaching children appropriate behavior and helping them become independent and responsible people. A key part of growing up is learning how to deal with the results of one’s actions.
Discipline emphasizes the positives. Punishment emphasizes the negatives.
Discipline is an ongoing process rather than a punishment which is a onetime occurrence to the incident that took place. Discipline sets examples.
Few pointers that may help:
- Stay calm. TRY and stay calm.
- Speak in a normal tone. Control the volume of your speech. Kids are intimidated by the size of the adults and a towering adult with a loud voice will only do more harm than good. The best thing to do is get down to the level of your child, look them in the eye and take control of the situation.
- Understand the situation and your child, and listen to his explanation. Most often than not, it is the answer you are looking for.
- Use fewer and simpler words that the child may understand better. Be clear in your speech and focus on what is expected of them in the given situation.
- Diverting the kid’s attention to something else other than the thing in focus is another option.
- Never Strike in Anger. Research has shown that hitting your child does not help and can do more damage. Try to avoid striking your child in anger. Spanking is not effective in reducing poor behavior, as it does not teach children good behavior.
- Don’t Yell or shout at children, try to avoid yelling at your children in anger. Do not put down your children. If they break a rule, tell them what they did wrong and why that makes you angry. Be angry at what they did, NOT at who they are.
- Get away, when you feel frustrated, angry or uncontrollable; let your feelings out safely away from your children. Take a walk. Do not stay alone with your children when you are overwhelmed. Get help and support.
Discipline will take your kids a long way.
Sunday, July 5th, 2009, 3:59 pm | 
Behavior | 
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July 9, 2009 at 2:06 am
Hi Nameetha,I am Preeti thakur(mother of 2 children).I saw your article about child discipline in times of india.I liked your article and found it very benificial for myself as I am a strict disciplinarian.At times I just loose control and start shouting at them which I regret very badly after some time.I would like to share my 6 yr old daughter’s one unique problem with you and also seek solution for it.She is very scared of cutting her nail.When ever I cut her nail,she starts crying very badly even before touching her nail and keeps crying for 1-2 hour.She remains very upset for the whole day and keeps talking about it as to how painful it was.My husband suggested one idea to let her cut on her own.This works to some extent as herself she doesn’t cry,but then the problem is she is not able to cut it very neatly.And then I have to force myself as a result of which she cries up to the level of hysterics.Every week I am suffering from this problem which upsets every one at home.I don’t know how to handle this problem.kindly advise me how to deal with this problem.I will be thankful to you for the same.Thanks,Preeti
(Note:My daughter was a pre matured c-section child with a history of seizure at the age of1-2 yr)
September 14, 2009 at 10:46 am
Hi,
Read the article and it is very useful. I am a mother of a 3 year kid. I am working women, so get for me teaching discipline to my kid becomes even more difficult. My son is very hyper active and sometime he really get on my nerves. Sometime i do feel that being harsh to him is the only way to teach him discipline. But this make me feel guilty. A sense of guilt always stays with me as i am not able to give sufficient time to my child. Moreover i think it is important for me to channelize his energy in a positive direction but i am not able to decide on how to do it.