We as parents compare our children against the others. I guess for most of us it comes naturally. We see that little something missing in our children which we so clearly see in others. That little more boldness, or smartness, or a better academic performance, the list can get endless. The fact is our children are made the way they are. Whether we like it or not that’s the fact. We can only try and get them to realize their true potential and build their confidence.
We want the best for children and we don’t mean to harm our children. All we want to do is tell them to better themselves in a specific area. But the fact is by comparing we are playing with their emotions and inducing insecurities in them. As adults we don’t want to compare against another how much more a small child? Comparing reveals the negative aspects of a child and may not result in a progress in that area. On the flip side comparing also gives the unnecessary ego boost to child. Over confidence is as bad as diffidence.
Each child is unique on its own and each is a beautiful creation in itself. Every child is born with some talent and we as parents need to unearth that potential. Are we as parents aware of That Hidden Talent in them? We need to shift our focus from their negatives and focus on the positives. If some child is inclined towards sports he may not be academic oriented. The number of sports personalities who have fared well in life without academics is something that we are all aware of. Music and theatre for one is another challenging industry. If all the children were “computer geeks” or “the A+ graders” then we are heading towards a major disaster. We would have no future entertainers or no new “sachin’s”. We would have no life. Unimaginable.
I know of so many parents that compare children with others regarding their academic performance. The times are changing. Academics alone is not a stepping stone to success. “Street smartness” as we would call it, is that additional knowledge of how to a handle a given situation smartly, gives that cutting edge. Encourage the children and talk about what they can be rather than that what they are. They may not be the best today, but we as parents can help them focus on their strengths. Try saying one positive thing about a child everyday and you will see that change in your children you want them to be.
Sunday, July 11th, 2010, 1:01 pm | 
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